you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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