oh god the rape fog is back!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
