My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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