I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
