Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
