i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
