So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
