He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
