if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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