pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
