Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
