Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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