I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
