Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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