so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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