I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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