Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
