i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
