hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
