I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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