Porn is love you can see.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
