Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This is classic penis vs brain.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize