I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
