If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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