I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
