Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
