I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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