Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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