I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
