Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
