At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize