I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
