he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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