i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
