I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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