I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
