She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
