My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
