Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
