Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
