Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
