I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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