Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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