Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
