Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
