It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
