A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
