Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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