garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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