chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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