Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
