I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
