Slut skills are useful in every country.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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