so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
