I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
