Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
