I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
