Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
