why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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