from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this will be a night to untag.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
